If you’re reading this you’re probably nervous about choosing the perfect babysitter. That may be due to news items A/K/A horror stories related to nanny cams and abuse. But more likely, you’re just meticulous about being the best parent you can be and worry a lot about leaving your children with someone new and unknown.

Laidback parents will likely skip past this blog post to something—anything—else. They just don’t stress about leaving their kids with a babysitter. They figure it’s good for kids to spend time with someone different and they figure that most people are good. It’s just not really an issue. Plus, they don’t mind coming home to a less than spotless home. Kids make messes. It means they’re having a good time and being KIDS.

Choosing The Perfect Babysitter?

Now maybe you’re NOT that kind of parent. Probably not or yeah, you would not now be reading this piece, hoping for some enlightenment on choosing the perfect (or at least safe) babysitter. Maybe you even WISH you were that other sort of easygoing parent or even feel a bit guilty about being somewhat OCD about this stuff. But you’re YOU and there is no point in trying to change at this late date.

Before we move on to the subject of this piece, let’s just get this out of the way: it’s a GOOD thing that you work hard at parenting and want the best for your children. The main thing is to be true to your own parenting style—not try to be something you’re not. It won’t work and you’ll just confuse your kids who won’t know from one day to the next what kind of mommy, Mommy will be today. Not a good thing, so just lose the guilt and move on.

Now that we’ve covered that particular issue it’s time to lay it out straight: if you find the perfect babysitter, you will hate her because she will be a better caregiver than you. That’s not what you want. What you want is a babysitter that keeps your kids safe and amused. She may not leave your home sparkling and she may leave the milk out on the counter to spoil. That’s okay. It leaves you something to gripe about. 

As long as she’s not perfect, it’s all good.

As an example of how this works, let’s say you are renowned for your chocolate chip cookie recipes. Said babysitter decides to make none other than chocolate chip cookies with your kids while you are out. They have a wonderful time and the cookies are good and the kids are proud of their handiwork. The babysitter has even left the kitchen spotless.

The kids urge you to taste a cookie. You take an obliging nibble and thank your stars because: THEY ARE NOT AS GOOD AS YOURS.

Imagine how you would have felt if they were as good or horror of horrors, BETTER than yours.

Do you see where we’re going with this?

Okay, so let’s take this to the next level. You’ve had a marvelous time out with your husband at that glamorous new eatery. You’ve had several glasses of good wine and romance is in the air. You get home, you open the door, and the aroma socks the two of you, you and your spouse, in your faces.

It’s the scent of hot buttered popcorn and spiced apple cider. Soft music is playing in the background and you can hear the happy murmurs of your children. They are all seated at the dining room table and they—your children and their perfect babysitter—have made an entire zoo out of origami paper. Each animal is a work of art.

You don’t know how to do origami.

Their eyes are shining. They await your compliments. Which you give them.

When you left, earlier this evening, they were covered in mucous and oatmeal and smelled, well, a little RANK. They were fighting over a purple plastic dinosaur. You were, to tell the truth, a bit relieved to sic them on the babysitter. You were glad to leave them with HER.

Now you’re not so sure that was a good idea.

Nah. I just made that up. It would never happen IRL (in real life), especially not the part about oatmeal and mucous. That’s the other kind of mother who has kids like that. That would never be YOU—be YOUR children.

But I digress.

The real point here is that you want to be careful that your babysitter is adequate, even better than adequate, but she also has to be human and make some mistakes—the kind that are easy to forgive. With my kids, that would have been Sarah. Sarah was the eldest in a large family. She knew how to handle kids and keep them happy.

So what was wrong with this picture? Not a thing that I could spot. I paid Sarah and got ready for bed. It nagged at me as I removed the traces of makeup from my face and removed my earrings.

I shrugged. And went to bed, determined to put it out of my mind.

The next day, I got up, ready to face the day. I got the kids dressed and went to put their dirty clothing in the laundry hamper.

And that’s when I saw it: a WET towel. Mixed in with the dry dirty laundry in the hamper. Just beginning to mildew.

“Aha!” I said to myself with, admittedly, some satisfaction. “Putting a wet towel in the hamper! Can you even believe it? Didn’t her mother teach her ANYTHING?”

I went outside and hung the towel on the line in the fresh breeze of a new day. I inhaled the scent and turned my face up to the sun, letting it warm the smile on my face.

Perfection Is Relative

Sarah was not perfect. Not by a long-shot. But while she was not perfect, she was the perfect babysitter for my children.

I tsked once more at the towel, flapping there in the breeze and nodded my head, ready to face my household, refreshed after a night out with my husband, and knowing that I was still the best possible caregiver for my children.

Hands down.

Tomorrow: Tips on How to Pick the (Almost) Perfect Babysitter. 

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