Did you know that birth moms can lie in Utah with impunity?

Until now, if a woman wanted to have a baby and keep this news from the baby’s dad, all she had to do was go to Utah. There, she could give birth and put the baby up for adoption, and daddy would be none the wiser. If that happened to me, and I found out, I’d be furious, and feel extreme frustration at being kept out of the loop, with the law complicit.

Imagine! Taking a father’s rights away from him. We may not carry children, but those same children would not be here without us dads. Isn’t it only fair that we should have our legal rights as fathers’ addressed?

Utah state senator Todd Weiler thought so. That’s why he sponsored a bill called the Adoption Act Amendments. The governor of Utah, Gary Herbert, appears to agree with Weiler, which is why he signed off on the bill. But not everyone is happy.

Wes Hutchins, an attorney for a group of 30 plus fathers that made a federal suit over the civil rights matter suggested the new bill only serves as a cosmetic fix since women can still cheat the system.

Here’s the deal: a woman gets pregnant and decides to carry the baby to term and then give it up for adoption, but she doesn’t want the father to know. She gives birth in Utah and can then put the baby up for adoption without needing to inform the baby’s biological father or obtain his consent.

The bill changes things in that the biological mother must live in Utah for at least 90 days. Alternatively, she can file forms with the court that volunteer information about the birth father. The court can then decide whether or not to compel the mother to inform the father prior to putting the baby up for adoption.

Hutchins, who also serves as president of the Utah Council for Ethical Adoption Practices (UCEAP), says a pregnant woman can lie and there would be no legal ramifications. All she has to do is sign an affidavit stating that she’s been in Utah for 90 days and no one will force her to inform the biological father. Even if it is later discovered that she lied on the affidavit, there’s a Utah statute called “fraud immunity” which makes it impossible to reverse the adoption process.

The most a father would be able to do in such a case is sue for financial damages. But the father can never recoup the loss of the child.

For this reason, there were other recent attempts to change the state legislature to redress these issues. For instance, there was an attempt to remove the fraud immunity statute, as well as an attempt at creating a pact between states. Both efforts failed.

Unequal Burden?

As a father, I read about the goings on and the truth is, I am annoyed to no end. First women accuse fathers of not putting in the time or effort into raising children compared to women. They talk about the unequal burden. Then you read about sperm donation in which fathers are just biological repositories to be used for a single purpose and then cut out of the picture. Now you have this business of adoption.

I can’t imagine not being a part of my children’s lives. I would be horrified to find out I had offspring being raised by a stranger when I am right here: not so hard to find and certainly ready to shoulder my responsibilities as a dad. It’s just not fair. Not to dads and not to those children.

Happily, it appears that very few women are actually abusing this Utah loophole for any but the best reasons, such as an abusive father, who would not be a positive factor in raising a child. Still, should women get to make these decisions on their own when the child has a second parent? Is it right that just because her body nurtures the baby for nine months, she has carte blanche to make all the important decisions about the child, when it could impact on that child (not to mention the father), forever?

It’s SNEAKY

And is it right that women can hide a child from a father by lying and never have to pay any price for this? It seems sneaky to this dad. Sneaky and LOW.

Under what circumstances do you think it would be right for a woman to keep a pregnancy and subsequent adoption a secret from the baby’s biological father? What do you think should be done to protect fathers’ rights?

 

 

 

 

 

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