Some of the best parenting advice we’ve ever read comes from UK parenting expert, writer, speaker, broadcaster, parenting coach, and mom, Sue Atkins. Author of two Amazon bestselling parenting books, Atkins has inspired thousands of moms and dads to be more confident in their parenting skills. Parents aren’t always sure they have a handle on things. They may feel a sense of chaos and confusion, and have no idea how to get things under control. Atkins helps take out the cluelessness and put the empowerment back into parenting by enhancing the skills that are already there.

But best of all (unlike too many other parenting experts), Atkins never makes parents feel like they’ve done something wrong. With her, there’s no blame or judgment, so parents who take the time to drink Atkins’ wisdom receive only positive encouragement in a forward direction. Kars4Kids Editor Varda Meyers Epstein put some questions to Sue Atkins to learn more about Sue Atkins’ unique brand of parenting empowerment.

A Career Change

Varda Epstein: When did you become Sue Atkins, parenting coach and how did you come to the decision that this was what you wanted to do?

Sue Atkins: I was a deputy head teacher and class teacher for over 22 years and when my father died, followed by my mother within the same year, I decided I wanted a career change and to make a big difference in the lives of children around the world, and as fate would have it, I was invited by Wiley & Sons to write “Raising Happy Children for Dummies,” for the famous series with the black and yellow cover. This lead to Random House inviting me to write another Amazon bestseller called “Parenting Made Easy – How To Raise Happy Children.” This led to becoming a regular contributor and broadcaster on BBC Radio and TV.

Choose Calm and Steady

Varda Epstein: You make it all look so logical and simple, which begs the question— why are parents so quick to choose the wrong attitudes and tactics when dealing with their children? For instance, what is easier? Letting your child burn off some of his anger and then breathe calmly with him, or get hot under the collar and yell at him? Why choose the yelling instead of being calm and steady and using the situation as a teachable moment?

Sue Atkins: It’s a busy, hectic and frenetic world that we live in and not all parents step back and think about what they are actually doing in their parenting. I find parents don’t really consciously think about the affect that their tone of voice, their body language or their words are having on their child’s self-esteem. So my job is to teach new strategies, fresh ideas and new ways of doing things to make family life more fun and harmonious again.

Lots of parents simply let their kids push their buttons and wind them up. Kids don’t come with a handbook and we tend to revert to the way we were brought up. I think parenting is all about confidence, setting boundaries and stepping back to pause and consider what we are doing. Most parents hit a problem along the way as it’s challenging, exhausting and a rollercoaster raising children from toddler to teen isn’t it?  My job is to ask the questions to help parents find their own answers, free from finger-pointing or judgment. I’ve got two kids of my own so I know firsthand how challenging raising happy kids can be.

Kids Don’t Come With a Handbook

Comfortable Enough for Honesty

Varda Epstein: I like what you so often say in your podcasts, “I want to pat you on the back, not point a finger at you!” 

It made me as parent feel as though I could confess anything to you. Is that perhaps part of the point? That you can only properly advise parents if they are comfortable enough to be completely honest with you?

Sue Atkins: Yes. Parent coaching is not therapy or counseling, it’s about setting a couple of larger picture goals, looking at what’s working and not working, trying my strategies and tweaking the outcome each week. I use my One Page Profile process to build everyone’s self-confidence and I champion, encourage, and support everyone as we take small baby steps forward every week.  

Varda Epstein: I bet that parents have confessed some pretty wild things to you. By way of making our readers feel better about their parenting skills (!) what is the worst thing a parent has ever confessed to you?

Sue Atkins: Gosh – it’s not my place to judge other parents or disclose what they say as it’s completely confidential. But I can tell you one day I was so cross with my own daughter when she wouldn’t brush her teeth, that I said, “You’ll end up with black teeth and no boyfriends” – ouch!

The Most Important Lesson

Varda Epstein: Every good teacher learns from her students and I imagine that in your profession, it is very much the same. So tell us, what is the most important lesson you’ve learned as a parenting coach and as a parent?

Sue Atkins: The most important thing is that children spell love T-I-M-E. I’ve learnt that it’s important to always keep the lines of communication open, choose your battles and remember that a smile is a curve that puts a lot of things straight!

Varda Epstein: What do you see as the biggest modern issue facing parents today? What advice do you have on that score?

Sue Atkins: Keeping kids safe online is a big one as is setting boundaries around technology and their devices and phones. It’s important for parents not to put their head in the sand—we didn’t grow up with 24/7 connection so find out what your child is doing on their phones and social media, set them firm, fair, and consistent boundaries, and get them outside and off the computer regularly, talking, playing, and laughing with you.

Best Parenting Advice

Varda Epstein: How would you sum up your parenting philosophy?

Sue Atkins: For me the really simple Secret to Parenting Success is:

• Know what you want
• Take action
• Notice what’s not working
• Try something else!

Varda Epstein:  What’s next for Sue Atkins, parenting coach extraordinaire?

Sue Atkins: I’d like to be a parenting expert on a United States television show, have my own TV series, and have a regular “Don’t Stew, Ask Sue” talk radio show and newspaper column.

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