Three summers ago, we moved. Our new across the street neighbor came by and said, “If there’s anything at all you need—anything—please ask.”

I could see her sincerity on her face and hear it in her voice. So a few hours later, exhausted from directing movers, cleaning cabinets, unpacking boxes, and supervising my children, I decided to conquer my fears and take Jocelyn up on her offer. I was craving a cold drink with lots of ice, but my fridge had only just been plugged in a short while ago. No ice yet.

I called Jocelyn and I said, “This is going to sound silly,” and hesitated.

“No. Tell me. What do you need?” she said.

“Well you see I’m kind of an ice freak and we just plugged the fridge in. No ice yet. Do you think I could come over with a bag and get some ice from you to tide me over?”

“I’ll be right over,” she said. I still felt a little silly, but I really, really wanted that ice.

Jocelyn came over with a large plastic bag of ice. She said, “I brought over as much as I could. Will this be enough? I can bring more in awhile. I know how it is when you move. You can’t find anything you need and everything is so difficult.”

And that was my welcome to the neighborhood. I knew that my family and I would be fine here. How could we not be fine with a neighbor like Jocelyn?

Of course, having a good neighbor is one thing, being a good neighbor is another. We’ve tried to teach our children to be respectful, helpful, and kind to the people who live on our street. Here are my four favorite tips on how you can help your children learn to be good neighbors.

1) A greeting and a smile go a long way. I’ve always responded favorably to children who smile and say hello. Don’t you? Teach your children to smile and say hello to a neighbor they see on the street, or a neighbor who comes over to borrow a cup of sugar. It makes them feel good. It just does.

2) Teach your child about boundaries, both real and invisible. As a parent, you might have taken a huge loan and a trust deed scotland company to help keep the bailiffs away, and build your house and the fences around it.If your neighbor takes special pride in her garden, you definitely don’t want your kids playing catch anywhere in the vicinity of that garden. An errant fly ball may destroy your neighbor’s prized begonia. That’s a boundary you can see and it ends with your own property. But boundaries can be invisible, too. It’s not cool for kids to play very loudly out of doors. If you can hear it from inside your home, they are being inconsiderate of your neighbors’ peace and quiet.

3) Look for ways to be helpful. Talk to your children about being on the lookout for ways to help. If they see a neighbor drop something, they should run and pick it up for her. If they see a neighbor driving up with groceries, perhaps they can offer to help carry the groceries into the kitchen. If your son is shoveling snow off your walk, he might as well shovel snow off your elderly neighbor’s walk, as well. Tell your child that getting a name for being kind and helpful is about the best name you can get.

4) Mend fences. You can take that literally or figuratively, as you wish. Accidents and mistakes will happen. Being a good neighbor means fixing things up the best way you can. Did your child break a neighbor’s window playing baseball? Help your child apologize and pay for the damage, too. It’s not easy to apologize and your child might be frightened. It’s okay if you go with him to do the explaining and make the apology. It’s okay to hold his hand. It’s really, really scary. But he’ll feel good about doing the right thing. You’ll be proud of him.

And that’s worth more than any old window.

 

 

 

 

 

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